Early Morning Booty Kicking

Do you ever have one of those days when all you feel like doing is reading blogs and watching reality TV?  That's me every day today.  I am just not feeling work at all.  Is it freaking June yet? 

I went to the gym this morning. 


See?  Those are my feet and that is the locker room floor. I WAS THERE.

 

 

I took Cardio Training Camp and it was early and hard.  We had to do the entire class using a medicine ball and this rubber band thing that went around our ankles.  Side shuffles, jumping jacks, lunges, power squats.  It was cray, I tell ya.  But I have fat outer thighs, so I probably needed to do this workout for about 5 more hours.  I will 100% be in pain by the time I go to bed tonight.  I smelled so bad by the time it was over. 

Speaking of working out, I am finally going to training tonight to get certified to teach at my new gym.  My original certification was only valid at my old gym so I haven't taught in a couple of months.  I can't wait to get back in the game.  So even though sitting through training for 4 hours both tonight and tomorrow night after working all day will damn near kill me, it will totally be worth it in the long run. 


The Boy had an exhibition night at his school last night.  His class has been studying all about cities, and last night he got to show us how smart he is.  Take a look at how proud this guy was in his classroom:



I love this little man. 


 

And here is his contribution to the block city that his class built:



Wegmans.  Obviously the most important building in the city.


 

And one more, this time of the other guy, just cuz I wouldn't want him to feel left out.  He's pretty stinkin cute too, right? 

 

He took a swimming lesson the other day and basically hated the entire thing.  Tears, yelling, grabbing the teacher's neck- it all happened.  He told me afterwards that he wants to go again. 

 

That's about it on my end.  Happy hump day! 

 

Have a healthy day,

 

J

 

PS- I used a word in my last post that I hate.  And then I realized after I published it that anyone who reads this might not get that it wasn't MY word.  It was one of Kanye's stupid song lyrics.  All of you got that, right? 

 

PPS- My daily reader stats and my number of followers are not matching up  (Thankfully).  Can y'all do me a favor and "FOLLOW ME"?  Please.  Boost my ego. 

 

Fun Little Linkup

www.thestanfieldclan.com
 

It's time for a link up!  And yes, I'm late jumping on board, and yes, that is the story of my life. Sorry I'm not sorry. And with that, I will finish some sentences:

1. People always tell me that I talk like a valley girl and that I'm built like a black girl. I'm assuming that they are referring to my bedonk-a-donk.  Keep in mind that I spend the majority of my days with inappropriate teenagers.  I, like, totally think both of those are compliments. *Hair flip* 

 

2. In the movie based on my life, Taye Diggs is my husband.  (And I get to play me, obviously.)

 

3. Typically, I end up regretting nights of drinking.  But sometimes I just can't help myself. 

 

4. I always ask to leave off the olives.  Gross.

 

5. Kim and Kanye really need to ask themselves why they are together.  I mean, won't Kanye do anything for a blonde dyke? Last I checked, Kim is neither.  But I guess what don't kill him will make him stronger. But they will probably have a very beautiful baby.  And yes, I realize I'm a huge nerd. 

 

6. My Parents always reminded me that one time when I was little, I buried a hamburger in a house plant. I went back a week later, undug it and ate it. 

 

7. Every single day, I say the F word.  Sometimes out loud, sometimes under my breath, and sometimes in my head.  It starts in the morning when the alarm goes off, "Eff.  I don't want to go to work".  And again later at lunch, "I really should eat healthier.  Aw, Eff it". 

 

8. This one time in College I drank Pepto before a night of drinking so that I could drink more without puking.  It may have happened more than just one time. 

9. My grossest habit is leaving dirty dishes in the sink over night.  I know that clean freaks everywhere are cringing right now.  I'm sorry, but your tendencies to pick pimples truly made me throw up in my mouth. 

 

10. My latest white lie was telling a pain in the A$$ student of mine that I was happy to see her after an absence and that I miss her when she 's gone.  Not true on either front. 

11. I know all the words to almost every single Dave Matthews song from the late 90s, most of the words to Baby Got Back, and about 80% of the words to The Brady Bunch movie.  I'm not even ashamed to admit that my sister and I used to watch that movie on VHS every single night before we went to bed when we shared a room in high school.  I told you I was a nerd. 

12. When I grow up I want to be a clean freak organized MILF who has her S*&T together.  Or a party planner.

13. Sexy time is finishing a slow 2-mile jiggle jog without a peeping turtle. (TMI???)

14. I will never, ever give birth to a baby girl.  And part of me is very sad about that.  But the other part is ecstatic that I will forever get to be the queen of my castle. 

15. I think it's hilarious that I left my wallet at work last night, didn't remember until the boys were already in the car for their haircuts, and then discovered that the building is locked, leaving me access to zero dollars on a day when I have a thousand errands to run.  Oh wait, no.  That actually isn't hilarious at all.  But Cakewrecks.com is.  People are morons  funny and I love laughing at with them. Oh, and little kids who make inappropriate comments are ususally pretty hilarious too. Except for when it's my kids.  Then it's just mortifying, until I get home and they are in bed. 

 

Happy weekend! 

 

Have a healthy day,

 

J

Eye Appointments and Painted Nails

The other day, my little buddy had to go to the eye doctor. Was it mean to take his picture at the appointment? Look at this guy. I mean, seriously. When he went for his 4 year checkup a couple weeks ago, he didn't ace the eye exam so they had me take him to get checked out. Can you imagine him wearing mini glasses? Besides the fact that Homeboy would probably ninja chop those things to death within a week, I still think he would look pretty freaking cute.

But it turns out he doesn't need glasses after all. Thankfully, we get to put that bill off for a while longer.


But we still got to hang out and do stuff like this while we were waiting for the drops to dilate his eyes, so the day was totally worth it.





Anyway, do you like my nails? Wait, no??  Ok fine , neither do I. But can you believe I got them done for FREE? See, my job DOES have perks. These beauties were done by someone who swears she is going to make a career of this. As much as they make me crazy, I love these freaking kids. And you better believe I will let them continue to make my nails look like they were painted by a drag queen on acid because some day they will be feeding me applesauce at the nursing home.

Nothing of Significance

I've been meaning to update more often. I honestly think about it about once a day, and then I just get going with stuff and before I know it, the day is over and I'm sitting my fat butt on the couch watching reality tv. So here, in no particular order, is a list of things that have been going on in my ever-exciting life.

1.  A couple of weeks ago, the temperature outside never got out of the single digits. When we woke up one morning that week and it was a brisk 62 degrees in our house, sheer panic set in. (Now, it needs to be noted that the household husband likes the heat jacked up to about 72. Would you be sweating to death in his presence? Yeah, me too. ) anyway, unable to bear it for even one more second, he called a heating guy to come over at 8:30 on a Friday night. It was amazing to pay this guy $125 for about 20 minutes of  his time. All we needed was to change the stupid $5 filter in the furnace. #homeownerfail.

2.  Ty woke up crying at 4:45 the other day. Since I had my alarm set for 5:00 so I could go to the gym before work anyway, I went in to lay with him for a few minutes. When I told him why I had to get up, he said,"why are you going to the gym? I don't want you to leave me."  I said, "I'm going so that you have a healthy Mama. You don't want to have a fat Mama, right?" His response: " but Mama, you're already kinda fat."


3.  I had to take Ty to get a speech evaluation the other day. It's looking like his days of saying "wets doe" and "my bewwy hurts" are on their way out. Is it weird that I am sad about that? I kinda want to follow him around recording his little voice for the next month before his classes start. His sayings are the cutest. I will miss them.

4.  I want to be thin and fit. I really do. But I really also want to shove my pie hole with pizza and chips every day. It sucks. And so does running on the treadmill. And getting up before dawn to get a workout in before work. And working your butt off and still seeing mounds of cellulite in the mirror? Yep, that sucks too. But you know what doesn't suck? Being strong, healthy and energetic. The moment your workout is over. The sore muscles. So I guess I'll stick with it.

I've got a bunch more random things running around my brain right now, but I'm going to save them for tomorrow.

Have a healthy day,

J

Yoga And A Mile

Hey there!  It is SO cold out today.  My car told me this morning that it was 9 out on my way to work.  My hands and face verified this while I stood like an idiot at the gas station with no gloves on.  Who in their right mind lets their gas tank get down to just about nothing and then pumps gas with no gloves on in the NINE degree weather??  Oh wait... 

 

 

Moving on.  Happy (belated) MLK Jr Day.  I used to always be thankful for this guy because he allowed us to have was a random Monday off from school.  And now I am thankful for this guy because, without him, I'm not sure my gorgeous family would even exist.  And without him, these two amazing people might not even have the chance to make their marks on the world:

 





So thank you, Martin Luther King Jr, for having your dream, and for helping my dream to become a reality. 


The boys didn't have their Religious Ed classes on Sunday, so instead of putting ourselves and everyone around us through the torture of taking them to church with us, we took the morning off.  I headed to the gym and got there 2 minutes late for yoga.  It was really freaking packed, but I slid my mat in between two unsuspecting souls.  It was hard, yo.  My shoulders were legit shaking and I may or may not have had to sit a move or two out to just catch my breath in child's pose.  I kindof wanted to sit in child's pose for the last 20 minutes of class, but then I remembered that skinny people don't do that. 

And since I had off yesterday, I went to the gym in the morning instead of early evening.  And guess what I was just in time for?  Yep, Active Yoga!  So I went again.  OMG, two days in a row.  With the same teacher.  And she is no joke.  I made the decision right in the middle of class that I want to get really good at yoga.  It was hard again, but I felt so bendy afterwards.  And then, (because I'm such a workout fanatic, obviously,) I got on the treadmill.  I had the intention to bang out a "quick" mile.  (Quick mile= best oxymoron ever).  My legs felt even heavier than their usual 500 pounds each after that yoga class so I told myself I'd just do a half mile and head out.  But then I felt like a total wimp for stopping so quickly, so I kept going.  And then I just really wanted it to be over, so I tried to run as fast as I could. (And by that, I mean at 7.0).  My face was beat red and I had sweat dripping down my face.  So I did what any normal person does after a good workout:  hit up the Pizza Hut lunch buffet.

 

 

I love days off! 

So, no workout for me today, unless I decide to do some Exercise On Demand on the TV later tonight.  I might, but probably not.  Whatever.  I'm back at it tomorrow. 

Have a healthy day,

J

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate.  Only love can do that." -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Beast Mode

I told myself that this was going to be the month that I got back on track with my regular workout routine. It's just been so freaking hard lately. And by lately I obviously mean for the past year or so. Between work and the boys' new school schedules and trying to actually work at the gym once in a while to help make that crazy monthly payment a little more palatable, it's just been ridiculously hard to get on a schedule and stick to it. But New Year New Me, right?

The boys spent the night with my parents on Friday night so I did what any childless person would do on a Saturday morning: nurse a hangover with a huge greasy breakfast spend it at the gym. I am at a new gym now and I'm trying to find some new classes to love. I've been hearing a ton about this craziness called Bodypump, and have never had it at my gym before. Well I do now. And crazy it is. I had literally no idea what to expect so I kept my weights pretty light. And then I realized just how little upper body strength I actually have. So instead of quitting while I was ahead, I decided to capitalize on my moment with no children and washed my shaky, sweaty class down with an hour of yoga. This was 4 days ago and I think my shoulders are still sore.

And instead of just jumping on a treadmill when I returned to the gym two days later, I decided to go to Body Conditioning. Yes, another strength class. I got completely SMOKED by 60 year-old women. And I'm not kidding. We had to push a medicine ball up over our heads, put it on the ground, do a full push up ( with out hands ON IT) and then jump back up. About a billion times in a row. Um, not happening.

I about died, friends. But I didn't. And I'm going to go back. There is no shot that I'm gonna let a bunch of 60 - year- old women show me up again. Well, actually, they probably will. Whatever. I'm a beast. Or, I will be some day at least.

Now that I'm done crying about how out of shape I am, wanna see some pictures I've taken with my new snazzy phone?

Actually, never mind. I can't figure out how to import them while I'm using the phone to type. CAN ANYONE HELP ME?????

Have a healthy day,

J

Resolution Epic Fail

Oh hi!  Remember me? I'm the chick who decided a while back to write a blog, and then decided to never update it.  Um, yeah...

Anyway, I'm happy to be back. I made a resolution the other day that this would be the year I would re-commit to this little ol' blog.  And so far, three days in, I've failed miserably.  Yikes.  Ok, well, I'll start today.   Here goes. 

You're dying to know what's been happening in my neck of the woods over the past month, aren't you?  I know. 

Well, I turned 33.  I'm feelin' so old, yo.  But I had a really great night with a big family dinner at a hibachi restaurant and got totally spoiled with some new Lulu gear and.... drum roll please... an iphone!  Yes that is correct.  Mama got an iphone. And she is officially obsessed.  (But she doesn't really know how to upload pictures from the phone on to this little blog.  She's old. But she'll figure it out. And then she'll stop talking about herself in the third person.) 

Um, what else? I spent my entire week off last week sick as a dog.  Yep.  It all started last Friday with CJ complaining that he didn't feel well and wanting to stay home from school.  Me, being the super awesome mom that I am, looked down and noticed that he had his fingers crossed.  So, assuming he was lying, I sent his booty to school.  By 1:30 the nurse had called and he was coming home with a fever of 101.  He lifted his little pathetic body off the couch approximately 4 days later, at which time, I laid my not so little pathetic body in that same spot for the next 4 days.  And so it went.  We all took a turn having a pounding headache, fever, and pure exhaustion.  It was a wonderful way to spend my vacation. 

But other than that, Christmas was glorious.  My little buddy was in the play at Church for the first time, and then he turned 4 the day after.  He's 4. Omg.  I told you I was old. 

YAYYY! Told you I'd figure out how to get the
photos off the new phone.  Hmmm...now if
only I could figure out how to take pix
that aren't blurry...

The hubs and I spent New Year's on the couch with Ryan Seacrest and some cough syrup.  I personally hate NYE.  I am so over spending hundreds of dollars I don't have to get entirely too drunk and ultimately waking up the next morning thinking, "wow, that was overrated".  But Husband was all about going to this fancy party that a hotel downtown was hosting.  Luckily, he jumped on my page at the last minute.  I was just about over my sickness by the time it came around, but he was right in the middle of his.  So he drank tea and I drank one drink because I felt like I was supposed to and at 12:04 I went upstairs and went to bed.  ...And LAME-O was their name-o...

Whatevs.  I'm cool.  Really I am.  (No?)

So that's it for now.  I worked out in front of the TV tonight and now the sweat is drying on me and I'm cold.  So I'm heading in to the shower and then I'm going to bed.  Have I ever mentioned how much I hate working out at home.  I do.  I friggin' hate it.  But it's a new year and I need to stop making excuses and start focusing on the fitness. 

What are your new year's resolutions?????

Have a healthy day,

J