Monday, November 26, 2012


Happy Thanksgiving kids!  I hope you got to enjoy some good food and some good company.  In true fatty fashion, I celebrated not just once, but twice.  My whole family got together at my sister's new house on Thursday.  She just bought the house a few months ago and was stoked to be able to host her first big thing.  Besides the food being disgusting and the drinks being weak, it was a good time. 


The food was so good and the drinks were plentiful.  My faves from the night were the caramel apple pie and the spiked hot apple cider.  My job was to make the mashed potatoes and the green beans (with bacon, obvi).  Both were slammin'. It was a good time had by all.

I could totally go for some of that pie right now. 

The next morning, we loaded up the car and embarked on our very first family car trip.  4 and a half hours of Ty playing I Spy with himself, CJ asking if we were there yet and the Husband rolling his eyes and mumbling about the boys talking too much.  It was a good time had by all. 

 If you know me even a little, you know that I have some serious anxiety.  So preparing for this trip was just amazing.  I was all kinds of stressed out.  Sleeping away from my house stresses me out.  Having my kids off their schedule stresses me out.  Being out of my comfort zone stresses me out.  Brushing my hair stresses me out.  (Just kidding on that last one, but I think you get my point.  I'm one big stress ball). 

But all of that flew out the window the second we got out of the car at my sister-in-law's house.  My kids adored playing with their cousins and the four of us adults all got to enjoy each other's company.  Plus, my SIL made a whole Thanksgiving dinner. Homemade mac 'n cheese, corn pudding, the works.  I stuffed myself silly.  To that one, I brought some peppermint meltaway cookies and a pumpkin roll.  (Thank you, Pinterest.)

So, what are you thankful for this year?  I have been blessed with so many amazing things.  When we went around the table at my sister's before we ate, I said that I was thankful for my kids. I am.  They are funny, charismatic, caring, sensitive, smart, loving, athletic little boys who love their mama.  I'm also thankful that I've decided not to have any more.
I'm thankful for my husband who works so hard so that I can have options.  I'm thankful for having my family so close to me.  I'm thankful for my work schedule, for my health, for free memberships at two gyms.  For caller ID (yes, I will screen your call), Pandora Christmas stations, and universal nap time.
The list could go on forever.  I live a great life.  And for that I am thankful. 
Have a healthy day,
PS- Are you a Follower of this blog yet?  You should be.  All you have to do is click where it says "Follow me". All that will happen is that I'll show up on your Blog roll.  Please do it.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Prom Date Fail

When I was a second year teacher, I taught high school Biology.  (Yeah, it was a complete joke. I'm an English teacher, people.) Anyway, I was 22 and my students were 17 and 18.  One day, and I'll never forget this as long as I live, a (smart, college-bound, had lots of friends) kid pulled me aside and asked me to the prom.  I absolutely thought he was kidding until I realized he wasn't.  I think he was offended when I laughed.

Now, I am a twelfth-year teacher. I am (kind of) old enough to be my students' moms.  I no longer teach Biology. 

I got some papers delivered to my desk the other day and when I looked at them, I realized they were old assignments that a kid was supposed to have done about a month ago in ISS.  However, instead of completed work, do you wanna know what was written all over the papers?

I love my English teacher.

Ms. Wheaton is so beautiful.

My English teacher has a hot booty.

I wanna skin.  (ummmm, skin?????)

I threw up in my mouth and walked the papers across the hall, and then the kid got thrown out of my class for the rest of his life.  (Or until his 5-day suspension is over, whichever). 

Later that night, the husband told me that I'm hot so of course any teenage boy would have a crush on me. 

Moral of the story:  Mama's still got it going on.  Boo-yah.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Cast Your Vote

Happy Election Day!  I'm nervous.  I'm usually not in to politics at all.  I mean, I try to stay informed and up to date with things that are going on in the country. I watched both National Conventions and all of the debates.  But that's about as involved as I get- just enough to make an informed decision.  This year I feel pretty strongly about my choice for President.  I woke up with all kinds of anxiety (shocking, I know).  For the candidates, for the results, for the future of our country.  Did you vote?

Oh, and I have a question:  why did we get rid of the booth voting?  We now vote on heavy paper and stick it in a machine.  Each ballot comes with an even heavier paper privacy screen. Am I the only one who thinks that's a huge waste of paper?  Way to go green, America. 

Ok, now let's talk about my children.  CJ wrote everyone's name with pen on the walls outside of our bedroom doors.  If Ty hadn't pointed it out to me, I never would have noticed.  CJ told me he didn't do it.  Then he started crying. Then he said he did it 3 years ago. (At the ripe old age of TWO.)  Then he said he didn't care if I told his dad because they already had an argument about it.  Then he said that Dada probably wouldn't remember having the argument because it was so long ago, but it really did happen, so just don't even remind him. 

I love being a mother.

And on that note, I need to cut it short tonight.  I have a load of laundry to do, a kitchen to clean, a lunch to make, and election results to watch. 

Have a healthy day,


PS- Have you been working out this week?  I taught for a sweaty hour last night, but had to cut it short tonight.  Only got in about 20 minutes of cardio and some weights.  But hey, better than nothing, right?

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Cutest Kids Ever

Feel free to go ahead and tell me how freaking adorbs my kids looked last night.  I won't be mad about it, I promise.

Last year, being the super awesome teacher that I am, I wore a flourescent orange wig to school on Halloween.  My co-teacher wore this hot pink one and we told everyone we were Nicki and Ricki Minaj. Well, one of my students ended up stealing my wig and my co-teacher ended up leaving me for a new job. This year I skipped the wig at work and settled on a Halloween shirt. (And yes, I still embraced the holiday more than any other teacher on staff.  Duds.) So you better believe I slipped the wig on the second I felt it was appropriate. CJ told me about 50 thousand times that he liked my costume.  If you ever need a confidence boost, I highly suggest you hang out with a 5-year-old.

And check out these pumpkin carving skills:

I'm pretty sure I've consumed at least 37 candy bars in the past 24 hours.  And we have an entire salad bowl full of leftovers.  A fatty's dream come true. 

Hope your Halloween was a happy one!  (Thankfully it's the one holiday that doesn't require electricity. We're continuously praying for our family members in PA who are still without electricity 5 days after Hurricane Sandy...)

Have a healthy day,


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I'm Baaaaaccckkk!!!

Well, well, well, can you believe it's been a month since my last post?  Sheesh, time sure does fly when you're having fun.  And I don't even have any sort of good explanation of why I haven't been writing.  I've just been focusing on other things. And it just felt right to take a break.  But now that I've had some time to do some reflecting, I'm ready to come back.  I hope you'll come back with me. 

One thing that I've realized revently is that I've been comparing myself wayyyyy too much to other bloggers.  I like blogging.  But I don't like technology. I realize that most bloggers decorate their posts with all kinds of pictures and links and giveaways.  Well guess what? It's basically a miracle if I remember to empty my pictures off of my camera in any sort of appropriate time frame.  And half the time, I don't even think to take pictures of half the s*#t that most bloggers think is interesting. So here's the deal:  I vow to do a better job of updating the blog.  However, don't get your hopes up for pictures of what I ate for dinner (I mean, seriously, who cares?) Or run results.  I hate running. Or giveaways.  I'm not nearly organized enough for that.  Not now, anyway.  ( I know, what the heck kind of blogger are you then??) Get over it.

I'll try to be funny. Sometimes it'll happen and sometimes it won't.  Whatever. I'm not gonna stress about that anymore.  It's my blog, and that's what you'll get- ME. The funny, the sad, the boring, the REAL.  My hope is that you'll be able to relate at one point or another.  And I would really love it if you would tell me about it.  Because sometimes it's nice to hear that you're not alone.  Hence the reason for sharing my life with every person who has access to a computer. 

So here we go.

My kids are going to be really freaking cute tomorrow (obvi). I'll be sure to post a pic.

 I've found a way to get emotionally-charged teenagers to calm the freak down (at least temporarily)- buy a class pet.  We now have two little turtles in our room. They are really cute and the kids love them.  I'll try to remember to post a pic.

I have been horrible with trying to keep up any kind of regular workout routine.  I hate being chubby, but apparently I don't quite hate it enough yet to really do anything about it.  I love eating Halloween candy.  A lot.  I'm too fat to post a pic.

I ate butternut squash soup for dinner that I made from scratch.  It was really good.  I won't post a pic.

I've now officially been married for 7 years.  That's a long time and there were times we weren't quite sure we were going to make it.  But as much as irritate each other, we've decided that we actually do like each other enough to stick it out.  Here's hoping we make it to year 8! Here's a pic:

Us on our anniversary a couple of weeks ago.  Look at the hubs- what a good looking guy!

It's good to be back! 

Have a healthy day,


Your turn:  can you relate to anything in this post?  Leave me a love note and tell me about it. 

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Crooked Necks and Days Off

The hubster was sick all weekend.  Poor guy.  He literally never gets sick, but when he does, it really kicks his butt.  So he stayed home from work on Friday and slept most of the day.  And then he chilled out most of Saturday too.  By Sunday, he was starting to feel better. When he went to get out of bed, something happened to his neck.  Don't you know this guy came down the stairs with his head tilted to one side because he literally couldn't straighten it?  But being the tough guy he is, he still went outside to put the cover on the pool.  By dinner time, he was in labor.  As in, screaming out in pain and ripping the couch cushions apart every two minutes as his muscles went in to spasms.  When he told me I would never be able to fathom what his body was doing (Ummm, au contraire, mon ami), I decided to pack the troops in to the Envoy and head to urgent care.  4 hours, 2 Vicodin, 3 Tylenol, and 1 neck brace later, he was sent home, good as gold. I totally want to post the picture he sent to my phone while he was all hopped up on drugs, but I gotta go with my gut on this one.  My gut is telling me that doing that wouldn't be nice.  So here's a nice picture of us.  With our heads on straight. 
I totally tried to score some drugs from him, and he just laughed.  What's up with that?  I thought we were a team here.  
In other news, my pants are totally way too tight.  I am starting to notice that my legs are turning a nice shade of blue from the lack of blood that is able to circulate past my waistline.  While it's pretty and all, I'm guessing I should try hitting the gym a little more seriously.  And regularly gorging on chips is probably not advised, is it?   
I do have a glorious random day off tomorrow, so that's exactly what I'll be doing. (Hitting the gym, geeks, NOT gorging on chips.) And that's right after I spend some time with some pretty cool kindergartners.  Yes, that's correct.  I am going to  to stop focusing on alternative ed high schoolers, and remember that there is actually a whole bunch of kids who actually ENJOY school (and life in general).  And bonus- my kid is one of them.  I'm super excited!
Have a healthy day,

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I Want To Retire

My job is officially consuming my life.  And the sad thing is that I only get paid to be there until 10:30 every morning.

So far this week I've had two full days of training on new State regulations I have to learn. I was on the phone with a colleague until 10:00 the other night, and on the phone with one of my administrators again last night after I put the kids to bed.  I was then up until 11 creating a 2-day lesson, and at work this morning for a 7:15 staff meeting. 

Meanwhile, I have no groceries in the refrigerator. I still have my second job at the gym to be at, school lunches to make, a house to clean, a new-parent meeting at CJ's school,  and apparently I have entered the contest for World's Largest Laundry Pile.

I know, cry me a river, right?  There are millions of mothers out there who work 9 hours every single day and still manage their kids and their household.  I'm not exactly sure how they do that, but I've heard it happens. 

You see, I have this horrible tendency (as I'm sure tons of mothers do) to want to do everything.  And by everything, I mean that I seriously want to have my little hands involved in every single thing that I'm interested in.  I want to be respected at work. I want to be creative and innovative and make a name for myself. I want to be a crazy fun fitness instructor who volunteers in both of her kids' classrooms and also helps out with Religious Ed on Sundays.  I want to blog my little heart out while making 50 frosted cupcakes and winning an award for being the Coolest Mother Ever. I want to go out with my husband every single weekend and remember what it's like to have fun. I want to make big, healthy meals that everyone eats. I want to plan fun outings for every single weekend yet I want my house to be clean and organized.  I want, I want, I want....

I want to retire.

Yes. I went to college for 6 long years and owe more in student loans than some people owe on their homes.  Yes. I am unwilling at this point to sacrifice any portion of my lifestyle, and therefore will talk about quitting my job all the time but will never do it.  Yes.  I really do think I'm in the right career, and for the most part, I enjoy what I do. 

But duh, work sure is getting in the way. 

In other news, I am still trying to get used to this new crazy schedule we are on.  I think we've finally figured something out that will work for everyone, and it involves making sure the boys are in bed by 7 every night.  Awesome if you've got a bunch of stuff to do around the house. Not so great if you've got a bunch of stuff to do anywhere else.  Like, say, go to the gym. 

So we're compromising.

Monday night was my night, last night was the husband's.  Tonight we're back to me.  I'm gonna try to get to Zumba if he gets home in time, but otherwise I'll get in some treadmill/weights action. 

That's about it.  CJ got out of school early today and both of them are taking a nap.  I'm actually going to try to be productive and get dinner started. That's right- just call me  a hot-mess Supermom. 

Have a healthy day,


Thursday, September 13, 2012

I Just Don't Get It

The other day at the gym, we were waiting in line to get in to the playroom when another mom carried her tantruming boy out.  He looked like he was about 4 years old, and he was really throwing a fit.  This mom was obviously frustrated and embarrassed. The frustration I totally get- there is nothing fun about your kids acting crazy, especially in front of a bunch of other parents.  But embarrassed about the actual tantrum?  No.  Stop.  We've ALL been there.  Instead of her child, what this lady should have been embarrassed of was what happened next.

As he was yelling and kicking and flailing around, she stopped right where she was (blocking the door to get in), looked at my kids and said, "stop acting like such a JERK in front of these other nice boys".  Um, lady.  Please do not bring my children in to your awkward moment.  Since that did absolutely nothing except teach her 4-year-old the word JERK, he continued to carry on, this time attempting to hit her in order to get her to put him down.  She grabs his hand and tells him, (yelling now), "you do NOT hit me!  If you do not knock it off NOW, I will hit you right here in front of all of these people!"

Good one, Mom.  Way to send your highly impressionable child a crazy mixed message.  I'm sure that the physical pain and public humiliation that you impose will teach him how to express himself much more appropriately next time. 

It sounds so stupid, right?  But it happened.  And the sad thing is that it happens all the time to a lot of kids. 

Some cute kids who have never
been spanked.  And guess what?
They still listen to their parents and
use their manners. 
I read a blog post written by a mom who loves her kids.  This whole post was about seeing kids as a blessing and not as a chore or a burden.  Ok, fine.  But what I didn't get is when she got done talking about how much love she has for them, she threw in there that "I spank them".  Um, ok.  WHY?  When she was challenged in the comments section by someone who lives where spanking is actually illegal, she responded that she considers it "child training", and said something about the Bible (which was written HOW many years ago???  But I digress...). And then went on to say something about assuming the lady isn't a Christian. 

Oh MyLanta.  I am 100000000% not here to get all religious or preachy or even to claim that I know the best way in which to raise a child.  But please- think about what you're doing.  Do you allow your kids to hit other people?  What does hitting your kids actually teach them?  It's called MODELING peeps, and it goes a long, long way.

Believe it or not, I don't really like to get all deep on the blog.  But this has been bugging me and I couldn't let it go.  I like to have fun and be funny and talk about all of my poor eating choices and lack of workouts.  So I promise to be all of that and more next time.  And until then, go show your babies how to be upstanding young ladies and gentlemen. 

Have a healthy day,


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A Day In The Life



So yeah, I stumbled across this pretty funny blog (well, maybe not so funny if you're not in to mom stuff and workout stuff and being chubby stuff, but I think it's pretty funny) a little while ago, and today the author is hosting a link-up.  I totally know I just did one of these things a few days ago, but whatever, I'm doing another one.  And since I know you creepers are 100% infatuated with all aspects of my life, I felt this one was rather appropriate.  Enjoy.

There are literally no two days that are exactly the same in my world.  But we are trying to get on board with a new routine right now.  So here's what's going down today:

5:30- The Husband's alarm goes off.  In a perfect world, I am getting up with these good vibrations and heading to get my sweat on.  In my real world however, I am too dog-ass tired to move. 

6:15- Drag myself out of bed and allow Husband to finally turn on the light so he no longer has to use his iPhone flashlight to pick out an outfit.  I'm nice like that.

6:30- Tell Ty that it' s way too early to wake up. Insist that he go back to bed, but then cave when he heads down the stairs to sit on the couch and wait for the TV to be turned on anyway; telling myself that it's not worth it to fight with a 3-year-old at the crack of dawn. 

7:00- Wake CJ up and begrudgingly let him watch Ninjago, if it will actually make him move his body out of the bed, and keep the two of them occupied while I finish getting ready.

7:05- put two outfits on the couch and remind them to get dressed

7:10- put breakfast in their hands

7:15- leave for work

7:30-10:30- work.  There is literally nothing else to say here.

10:45- Sneak away, even though I'm technically done at 10:25. Feel guilty about having to rush out, but remind myself that some things are just not my problems to own.  I really freaking LOVE only working part time. 

10:55- Sprint up to Ty's brand new classroom just in time for the day one meet-and-greet  to be ending.  Awesome.

11:15- Lunch and playing outside

12:30- Caillou (UGH, that kid is such a WHINER) and upstairs for nap.  Force Ty to go to sleep right away so I don't have to wake him up when it's time to go get CJ.

1:00- catch up on work stuff that I didn't get to at work and yell up the stairs to stop throwing stuff at the walls and go to sleep

2:35- wake Ty up and rush him down the stairs and in to the car

3:00- pick up the big kindergartner

4:15- head to the gym after some snack and rest where I have to teach

6:00- dinner,boys hang out with Dad

7:00- showers and bedtime

7:30- clean up the kitchen and remember that the boys have nothing clean to wear to school tomorrow. Throw in a load of laundry.

8:00- So You Think You Can Dance, blog, Facebook; make CJ's lunch and finish that load of laundry during the commercials.

10:00- shower and think about packing a bag to go to the gym in the morning but remember suddenly that I have to be at a meeting by 7:15.  Get in bed and attempt to read Gone Girl, but fall asleep.

So there ya have it.  A play by play of my ridiculously crazy day.  No pictures.  Sorry about that- I'm tired. I'll be cooler tomorrow. 

Monday, September 10, 2012

Monday Madness

What a fun fall weekend!  On Saturday, we took the boys to this place that's filled with gigantic inflatable bounce houses.  They lost their minds for a couple hours, and every 10 minutes or so I thought I was going to go in to cardiac arrest.  They love that place, but it totally freaks me out.  Once they enter these things, they're gone.  I can't hear a thing because of the air pumps that are keeping them all inflated; and they're all filled with blown up things to navigate through, climb up, and slide down.  I basically watch them go in and keep my fingers crossed that they don't get either stuck or crushed before they come back out.  The highlight of the trip was watching my son sprint from house to house and get told to slow down and walk.  Instead of just complying and walking away like I imagine any normal 3-year-old would do, my child stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the guy for a solid 10 seconds. He then busted out his most elaborate ninja moves complete with sound effects and proceeded to *sprint* away from him.  It's amazing that I actually held it together long enough to get him to actually walk before I just about peed myself from laughing so hard.  My kid is so naughty. I pity his middle school teachers. 

That's just about all I have time for today, you guys.  I am already stressed out with trying to get our new routine in place.  And Im starting to feel bad for my poor lucky gym members- I definitely took all of my stress out on them tonight.  I just got home about 10 minutes and already I can't really feel my shoulders.  Oops, maybe it was a bit harsh.  But I still managed to lift my shoulders high enough to reach my mouth.  I made some stuffed zucchin for dinner and couldn't wait to get home to eat.  It may have just undone all of the work I just put in at the gym, but whoa- amazeballs.

Ok, I'm off to make some school lunch, clean my dirty kitchen and go to bed so I can do it all again tomorrow.  My littlest man starts school (well, for an hour preview) tomorrow.  Pray that he keeps his ninja moves to himself. 

Have a healthy day,


Friday, September 7, 2012

Random Ramblings

I never really get why a bunch of stay-at-home-mom bloggers all rejoice at the fact that it's Friday.  I mean, for real. You stay home every day.  Your chores don't change just because it's the weekend.  You still have to wake up early and make a bunch of breakfasts and clean up toys and yell at kids for being too rowdy and plan dinner and run errands and the list goes on and on.  So if you are a stay-at-home-mom can you please explain the excitement about Fridays?  Thank you.

And while I'm a stay-at-home-mom most of the time, I am a teacher for a little part of each day as well.  But you already knew that.  What you didn't know is that each Friday, my students write a Friday Freewrite journal entry.  (That means they can write about whatever they want).  Since today was their first Friday with me as their teacher, most of them were shy to share.  One boy agreed to share his, but wanted me to be the one to read it to the class.  So I did.  And guess what?  The entire thing was about how much he already hates my class.  And yes, in case you were wondering, he hates me too.  Don't worry, he went on to say that he hates everything about this school.   I asked him afterwards if he would at least give it an honest try, and he told me he "doubts it".  Over all, it was a really wonderful pick-me-up.

My family attended three different parties over the three day weekend. My children got to run around and be crazy with their same-age cousins from Pennsylvania (they had so much fun and were insanely cute together) on Saturday. On Sunday, we went to a BBQ at our friends' house. There were so many kids there who all loved playing and swimming and eating together. And on Monday, we were at my parents' house celebrating my baby brother's 27th birthday. And since I'm an All-Star Blogger and Documenter of Memories, I didn't have my camera. (And apparently, I have also decided to hang on to my old school cell phone that's worth approximately 50 cents for EVER). I am so cool like that. This is literally the only picture (that got emailed to me) from our entire fun weekend:

I worked out once this entire week.  I didn't get to teach on Monday because of the holiday, and trying to get in to our new routine has me all messed up.  I did a workout from Exercise On Demand the other night.  It was alright, and I was a very sweaty mess, but I despise working out at home.  For one, I have, like, 3 square feet in which to mover around; and two, I can never hear the freaking music in those shows.  So I have to stare at the TV to try to keep up with their beat.  It's usually a disaster and I look like a freak show.  I set my alarm to go to the gym before work today, and then just didn't get up.  I'm a mess. 
So there ya have it.  Cheers to the freakin weekend.  (remember that song?) I hope it's a good one.  I'm off to get my KINDERGARTNER.  (I'll probably stop talking about that soon, but I'm making no promises.)
Have a healthy day,

Friday, August 31, 2012

Fill in the Blank Friday (A Link Up)


Hi!  Happy almost weekend.  And a three day weekend at that.  I'll bet all of you 9-to-5ers are psyched today, huh?  Me-well, not so much.  I'm one day closer to sending my baby off to become a big school kid.  (Are you sick of hearing about that yet?  Too bad.  My kid is going to kindergarten and I'm freaking out.  Get over it.) 

Anyway, I've never done anything like this before, but today I'm linking up with Lauren from The Little Things We Do. She posted this thing called "Fill in the Blank Friday", and now a whole ton of bloggers are doing it.  So since I love a good bandwagon, I've decided to jump on.  Here we go:

1. Over this Labor Day weekend I will be   crying my eyes out about Kindergarten starting in approximately 3 seconds, eating too much at our friends' BBQ, and celebrating my baby brother's 27th birthday.  Oh shoot, I really need to get him a present...

2. With the political debates going on right now, my thoughts are, "Can these people please stop slamming each other and just tell me how they are going to make things better? Whoever is going to realize that public school kids need to be educated as whole people and not just as standardized test-takers will get my vote".
3. Today  the boys and I had an awesome playdate with a group of friends we started playing with when the oldest ones were 1 and the babies couldn't even sit up.  That's a long time, and we were all sad when we said goodbye. 
4. The best thing I've cooked recently was   some buffalo chicken in the crockpot.  Just one more example of why I am in love with Pinterest.  Holy Man that stuff was good.

5. The last thing I bought was  2 backpacks, some Sharpie markers, and a pack of pens.  Boring with a capital B. It's really great that my students don't even bring a pen to school with them.  I love supplying them with stuff.

6. The best movie I saw this summer was ummmm.... did I even see any movies this summer? I watched this movie on Netflix the other night about this girl who found out at the very beginning that she had cancer.  It was horribly sad and I did that awful shaking cry through the whole thing.  I think I may have even wiped my nose on my shirt. 

7. The best book I read this summer was   50 Shades of Grey.  HaHa, just kidding. I am an English teacher, true.  But I don't think it takes an English teacher to realize that the writing in that book was ridiculously bad.  But if you're looking for a GOOD book, then you should read Room by Emma Donoghue. Trust me on this one.

Have a healthy day,

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

So Long, Summer

I went back to work yesterday.  A full day, and I about died.  Meeting after meeting after meeting.  I'm pretty sure that the highlight of my day was walking in to my classroom after having set up the desks exactly how I wanted them last week, only to find that someone went in there and took all but 5 desks out.  Those 5 were arranged in a neat little row down the center of the room.  Um, bring me back my effing desks.  And thanks, but rows? C'mon.  Everyone knows that rows are SO uncool. So I decided to actually get on top of things for once in my life and make a poster I want for my first day activity.  A very special shout-out goes to whomever took ALL of the supplies out of the supply cupboard.  I'm really looking forward to going out and buying ALL new stuff, breaking a sweat while moving furniture down a hallway, and oh yeah, meeting all of my parents tonight.  Good times. 

On another note, my kid had Kindergarten screening this morning. I'm not exactly sure what they were screening for, especially since his tiny school only has one Kindergarten class, so it's not like there's a lot of options.  He was super excited to go, but definitely started crying when I was about leave.  I was totally unprepared for the tears and it sucked.  And what sucked even more is that when I went back an hour later to get him, the teacher said that for the last ten minutes he kept saying he just wanted to play with his brother. They are gonna die without eachother this year. Poor Ty has to wait for 2 more freaking years before he gets to go.  Horrible planning on my part.  He totally should have been born 3 months earlier than he was. 

Much to their dismay, they are NOT actually twins.

So that's what's happening over here.  On a different note, I did a double workout session on Monday (ran and did free weights in the morning; taught Power Body at night), and then tried a new class last night.  It was a series of one-minute intervals (I'm certain she was lying about them only being 60 seconds) of cardio and strength.  The whole thing was done while holding a medicine ball.  It literally kicked my booty.  As in, my butt is so friggin sore today that going up the stairs is actually a chore.  It's looking like today may need to be a rest day, unless I can squeeze something in before I go to Open House tonight. 
Have a healthy day,

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

5 Boys And A Cat

Yep, that was my life a couple of days ago- I had 5 boys and a cat.  In my house.  And miraculously, everyone got along.  I had two five-year-olds, two three-year-olds, and the chubbiest, happiest 9-month-old I've ever seen.  We've known these guys since CJ was a baby, and I can't believe they still get along.  But they do, and for a split second while they were here, I contemplated quitting my job and opening a home-daycare.  And then I remembered that my own children drive me bat-shit crazy half the time, so there's no chance that would work out in anyone's favor. So alas, I will return to work next week...

Blah.  Next week already.  I'm so not ready to face the fire.  But I am ready to get back in to the routine of things.  Even though the thought of Kindergarten (already?!?) is making me sick, I'm psyched about the school he got in to, and even though I complain about my job a lot, I've got a pretty sick schedule. (Like that double entendre?  Wait, it is called a double entendre, right?) I'll get to pick both of the boys up from their respective schools every day, and that makes the control freak in me ecstatic. 

I've got some good ideas (well, at least I think they're good) for my classroom, and I'm excited to get in there and set it up.  Should the ideas in my head actually come to fruition, I'll post a pic or two.  Because after all, I know that you are obsessed with seeing and understanding ALL aspects of my life, right?

On the workout front, I am probably going to have to switch up the schedule again once September hits.  But that's really okay because my routine has been all over the place this summer.  So I'm looking forward to locking something in.  Maybe I'll actually stick to it this time around.

One would think that with all this control freakishness in me that my house would be immaculate. And yet it's just not.  Whatevs.  Summer's almost over and we've got way more important stuff to squeeze in before it's gone for good.  It's gonna be looking like this all too soon.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Olympic Depression

Anyone else going through withdrawals today? 

I'm so freaking sad that the Olympics are over.  You'd think that I was an elite athlete or something. 

(I'm so not.) 

Which sport left the greatest impression on you? 

Was it Women's Soccer?

 Abby Wambach and I went to high school together.  She was a year behind me.
We weren't friends, but she was friends with all of my sporty friends.
She is the only celebrity that I even kinda-know.
Was it Men's Swimming? 
Ryan Lochte is from here too.
I did not go to high school with him.
I do not even kinda know him.

Some of you know and some of you may not know that back in the day, my husband was a nasty runner.  (As in, had he focused a little more in college, he could have competed at the Olympic trials nasty.) So although we had the Games on every single night, he was really waiting for the track stuff to start.  And for the first time, I got completely sucked in. I was enthralled with the athleticism of these sprinters. Not only did I want to be friends with these people, but I started wondering if there's still time to start training for Rio 2016. (Oh wait, you have to be incredibly talented and driven in order to do something of that caliber, and it's not actually as easy as they make it look?  Boo.)

You, Usain, are the fastest known person in the entire universe.
Therefore, you are allowed to be arrogant.
Of all of the Olympians by whom I am now enthralled, one has become my all-time favorite.  So Gabby Douglas- I think you are phenomenal.  Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh- outstanding and amazing to watch; and all of the Rhythmic Gymnasts whose names I cannot pronounce- I highly enjoy watching you even though some people may think that you belong in Cirque Du Soleil insted of the Olympics.  But my award for personal favorite Olympian of the London 2012 Games goes to this girl: 

Sanya Richards-Ross. 

As I'm sure is totally normal in any household, our children love watching their father and me compete at stuff.  Last weekend, they insisted that we race in the pool.  In a brutal attempt to win, he slammped his hand in to the side and thought he broke his finger.  It swelled up instantly and was throbbing, but he demanded we go again. (Yes, it was that close.  And yes, it's that important to him that he beat me.)  So that got me thinking about my Number One Olympian. 

She is married to an NFL star (so now they have both Olympic gold medals and Super Bowl rings in their house.  How awesome is that?!) They have twin boys.  (Yet another reason I LOVE her- she had two babies at once, and still has those hot abs and the drive to compete internationally.) I want to be there when their boys make them race.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Things That Make Me Happy

Miniature shoe boxes: I mean, how could this not make you happy?

He can now jump off the diving board and swim to the shallow end by himself.
He *will* make you call him Michael Phelps.

He *will* walk around the entire edge of the pool drawing X's in a line, and then
wrap up and pretend he was swimming.  He's not dramatic at all, as noted in the
"I'm not smiling" face.

Healthy dinners: some egg casserole, a quesadilla with salsa, and some chips.
 It happened. And it was good.

Pinned Image
I may or may not have the paperback version sitting on my nightstand.

Doing something I never thought possible

Watching a pre-soccer practice pep talk.
 The guy in blue is a great dad.  Lucky for me, we're married. 

family time

Date night. Martinis.

Just kidding. Creepy guys in bootleg superhero costumes do not make me happy.
But it's kinda funny, right?

My life.  I get to work a little, play a lot, and spend time doing stuff I love. I complain sometimes, but I need to knock it off.  My life makes me happy.  I am a lucky gal. 

Have a healthy day,


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Good Morning! We made it!

Camping!  And not only did we "make it" as my title suggests, but we ROCKED it.  Ok, so we're not exactly shopping around for deluxe campers complete with strings of lights, nor are we feverishly booking our next trip to the great outdoors; but overall, camping was a huge success.  So huge in fact, that tears were actually shed by the littlest Wheaton when he was told it was time to pack up to head home. 

Of course, as my hot-mess luck should have it, my camera died as soon as I snapped the first picture on Saturday morning, so all memories of our first family camping trip must now reside in our heads.  EPIC FAIL.  So sadly, pictures didn't happen this weekend. But in no particular order, here are some things that DID happen:

  • Bodysurfing in the lake
  • Building sandcastles
  • Neighbors who played their music too loudly til 2 AM
  • Baby bunnies
  • Live music on the beach
  • Doritos, potatoes, bacon, marshmallows, ice cream cones, lemonade, basically every other unhealthy food you can possibly think of
  • An air pump that wasn't charged up enough to blow up the air mattress
  • A trip to the camp store to purchase a hand-held air pump
  • Playgrounds
  • Walking in the woods with flashlights
  • Basically every other activity that boys enjoy, including but not limited to, both peeing and brushing teeth outside. 
  • Mistaking an adult drink for a kid drink... and then being asked to perform a sobriety test in the form of Follow The Leader.  (Just kidding, that didn't happen.  OMG YES IT DID. We were scared out of our minds that our 5-year-old was gonna be wasted. But thank God he was totally fine.  There was hardly anything left in the cup anyway. Maybe the sobriety test was a little over the top...)
  • The phrases "I wuv tampin'!!!"  and "Woah, camping is so awesome!!"
  • Passing out and completely missing both marshmallows and glow-in-the dark bubbles the second night.
So here we are, home again, and I am fatter than ever.  I'm pretty sure that I gained 50 pounds while away so it's time to get things back on track. 

Here's what's happening on the workout front:

Monday- 4 mile walk (dare I say Power Walk?) with the stroller/ 1-hour Power Body class
Tuesday- (yep, that's today) Arms with free weights/ Zumba = Dunzo!/ Hopefully "hiking"(walking on a trail) with boys later if it's not a million degrees out.
Wednesday-Friday- some running, more weights, maybe another cardio class or 2, hmmm... the possiblites are endless 

What's on your workout agenda for the week???

Have a healthy day,


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Supplements, Ramadan, and the Summer Olympics

Before I get in to anything that is relevant to that ever-catching title, I'm gonna be a little bragadocious for a second. Today marked the second day in a row that I crawled out of bed before dawn to complete a workout, and the third day in a row of working out.  NBD for a lot of people, but when you don't really have any other place to be, getting up at 5 or 6 isn't that easy.  But I did it.  Wow, I am so fit.

Muscle Test
This is not me, and this is not my doctor.
But this is what happens during muscle testing.
Ok, on to supplements. Do you take them?  I know I've rambled before about my trips to the holistic practitioner, and I went again yesterday.  I got muscle tested again, and once again (third time in row now) my stomach showed up as a problem area.  Last time, I brushed it off and decided not to make it a priority, but she said it seems to be spreading now so we really should.  (And how she can tell it's spreading from touching me with one finger while pushing on my arm, I'm not sure, but I'm going with it).  So I ordered a few crazy expensive totally necessary supplements to help aid my digestion and metabolism.  I'll report back in a couple weeks when I am suddenly being asked daily if I am a fitness model.  Because I'm positive that's how effective these things will be.

And now Ramadan. I was raised Catholic, but I believe that Ramadan started recently, right?  That means that a lot of people will no longer be eating when it's light out.  My sister and I decided that this is a genius way to lose a few L.Bs. Is it appropriate for just anyone to observe Ramadan, or is that actually pretty disrespectful?  (I'm kidding people.  I only thought about observing it for a split second and then decided I really don't have that kind of will power. ) So if you actually DO observe this, then good on you.  I give you a lot of credit.  Even if it is religious based.  OMG... soooooo inappropriate...

Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics are on Friday.  We love the Olympics here in the Wheaton house. My husband doesn't talk about it a lot, but back in the day, with a little focus, he actually could have made it to the Olympic trials.  Yeah, he used to be crazy fast.  As in, ran a mile in 4:12 fast.  Luckily for us though, we will not be home to watch the world come together on Friday night to support and celebrate one another.  Instead, we will be fighting with a tent and a fire as we embark on our first ever camping trip with the boys.

 If you believe in God, now's the time to start praying.   Good Lord, I hope we make it out alive.

This may or may not be my spouse, the last time (also our first time) camping.
Yes, he camped in plaid shorts.  No, he did not know what he was doing. 
Don't judge. This weekend will be FUN.
And that's all I've got for now.  The glorious guy I married (see above) decided to pan sear some tilapia last night even though I wanted it to go on the grill.  He then decided to leave the pan in the sink last night and close the kitchen window.  The smell that is permeating from my kitchen right now is literally making me want to barf. 

Have a healthy day,


Thursday, July 19, 2012

Mid-Week Check In

 I've decided that I'm sick of paying for the childcare at my gym.  It's only $3 every time I bring them, but if I'm bringing them 4 or 5 mornings  a week, I'm suddenly paying about 60 bucks a month for a gym to which I have a free membership!  That's total craziness!  So the good news is that by not paying anymore, I'll be helping us (me) stop wasting money, but the bad news is that now I need to figure out when in the world I'm gonna work out.  OhMyGod... where are you going with this?  Right here, people- I'm back to preaching about early morning workouts! 

I've actually forgotten how much I enjoy them.  It's 7:13 in the morning here, totally quiet in my house (miraculous!) and I am already loving this day. The alarm went off bright and early this morning and I actually got up with it and strapped on the sneaks.  Instead of rolling out of bed once I hear the little monster start to wake everyone else (his brother)  up, I now have 3 miles, some free weights, and some abs completely done.  I am loving it.  So much in fact, that I literally do not care that Husband just stuck his head out of the bathroom door and told me that he's pretty sure the towel he just used to dry himself off with has pee on it, and he realized it once his body was dry and he wiped his face.  Yes- instead of being irritated that someone peed all over the floor, I will embrace this and be happy that the mess was cleaned and the towel was rehung. 

Cat's out of the bag, Cherubs... one of you is a
floor-peer.  You're still cute though.
Gross, but cute.

Ok, they're starting to wake up, so the rest of this needs to be short and sweet:

1. Workouts so far this week:
  • Monday: Power Body
  • Tuesday: a mile on the treadmill and Zumba (another early bird special. Yeah!)
  • Wednesday: nada. I couldn't figure out when to make it happen, so it just didn't. Boo.
  • Thursday: 3 miles outside, upper body free weights, abs
2. It couldn't have been a more perfect morning to run.  And that's saying a lot, because I think by now, everyone is well aware of how much I dislike this activity.  It's finally no longer 100 degrees here. In fact, this morning it was a perfect 65.  I actually had my iPod charged and ready to go for once so I got to listen to more than just my pounding feet and my heavy breathing/panting/gasping. I got sweaty but not too hot, and basically feel like I might want to do it again tomorrow.  Weird, I know.

3. I love summer and don't ever want to go back to work.  I ran in to the mother of one of my students at the gym on Tuesday and this thought was instantly confirmed. 

4. You readers are making it very easy for me to not post.  I'm not quite sure at this point if you like/care what I have to say; or even if you exist at this point.  So I'm begging you to leave me a comment once in a while.  I don't even care what you tell me. Do you have a 3-year-old who drives you insane? Do you read blogs to avoid cleaning your house? Do you drive a black car?  Please.  Give me some sign that you are alive and well. 

Have a healthy day,


Thursday, July 12, 2012


I'm pretty sure I've mentioned once or twice (or five hundred times) in the past that I am a total sugar freak when it comes to the foods I feed my kids.  When they were younger, it was super easy- they didn't even know what they were missing out on.  But know that they're older, they're on to my game.  They totally have it all figured out.  They know that granola bars and candy bars are in fact NOT the same things.  They know that smoothies are in fact NOT milkshakes, and that chips at a cookout are more fun to eat than apples. 

Well, I was SUPER excited to get a giant package of Funky Monkey Fruit Snacks in the mail the other day.  They are little pieces of freeze dried fruit.  They crunch like chips, but have no added sugar or other flavorings.  Just fruit.  I love that, and so did my kids!  They are perfect for any diet you or your kids follow- vegan, gluten-free, organic, nut-free (did I miss any?) 

I know you hoarders care less about the prize, and more about claiming your free goods, so here's the deal:  you gotta go check out my post on Follow the instructions over there, and GOOD LUCK! 

Here's the direct link to the post, just cuz I love ya so much and I wanna make this as easy as possible for you. 

Have a healthy day,


Monday, July 9, 2012

Beating the Heat

First of all, before I start telling you all about the exciting Fourth of July we had, (yes, I realize it's over and that no one cares anymore), I need to say something equally as important.  As I've been indulging my addiction to other people's blogs, I've noticed that a lot of people are irritated that it's Monday.  As in, not looking forward to Monday morning workouts, not excited that it's time to get "back to the grind", not anxiously anticipating how great this week is going to be.  WHY????  To that I say, GET OVER IT.  I get it- you're back to work today and you don't want to be.  So what?  You're one day closer to pay day.  It's time to get a fresh start on your goals, start looking forward to all of the things you're going to accomplish this week, and fall back in to your routine.  It's Monday! 

2 cute kids just chillin' on the Fourth.  Except it wasn't chilly. 
It was ridiculously hot.
Also, it was a great day to get spider webs and skulls painted on your body.

So, back to the Fourth.  I woke up early, ready to run.  Remember I made a goal to sign up for a race?  Well, I did it.  (Ok, I'm lying.  I *picked* a race to run on the 4th, but didn't actually register until I got there.)  There were actually about a billion races happening locally that day, and I settled on a 2-miler.  I was thinking about going for an official 5K, but figured that 2 miles would be much more manageable in the heat.  (Not because I've barely been running or anything that silly, OBVI).

I found a friend who was gracious enough to sign up with me.  I'm not even gonna lie- the thought of running with someone made me totally nervous, even though this chick and I have been friends for about 10 years, and nothing about her makes me nervous.  I always run solo, and was scared that I'd be holding her back.  And I'm sure I was.  But she still stuck with me.  She's so nice. 

A 10K was happening at the same time as our 2-miler, and my friend ran in to some people she knew during registration.  When they asked us which race we were doing, they responded with things like, "Well, at least you showed up" and "What are you gonna do, challenge yourself and run it backwards?"  Very funny, Jerks.  Have fun running over 6 miles in the blazing heat.

And yeah, it was crazy hot out.  I actually remember the weather man saying later that night that Wednesday was the hottest day of the summer so far.  Awesome.  What a great day for a non-runner (me) to go for a run.  Even though the race started at 8 in the morning, it was already gross out.  We lined up (and yes, we were right in front this time), and we were feeling great.  Totally ready to reach our goal of banging these miles out in less than 20 minutes.  And then I overheard the superstar runners next to me having a conversation:

Quick Guy 1: you gonna try to beat 14 minutes?
QG 2: I doubt I can go faster than that in this humidity.  Plus with those hills...
QG 1: Yeah, make sure you save some energy for that big one at the end.

WAIT Stop Hold the phone Come again.... HILLS????? Please tell me they were lying.  I've NEVER run up a hill before.  Oh God.  I was gonna die. 
Proof that running happened.  And yes,
I wore a flag bandana as a sweat band then entire time.
I'm pretty sure it made me run faster.
I looked at my friend and she looked at me.  I can't do this, I told her.  "Yes you can, just remember that the faster you run, the quicker you're done," she said.  And that turned in to my mantra. We started running, and she was already going quicker than I had planned on starting.  But I kept up with her and just kept reminding myself to keep my feet moving so that it could be over.  And we got to the first hill.  I tried to dominate it, dug my feet in, and passed people.  I got to the top and was so thankful for the neighbors who were standing at the edge of their lawn with a hose to run through. 

I was SO hot.

But I kept moving my feet, refusing to give in to the fact that my mind was telling me to slow down.  I was about half way done when I realized that the timer on my watch wasn't working!  OMG!  I'm pretty sure these are the only words I panted out the whole time my friend was trying to talk to me, and I'm pretty sure she wanted to punch me when I told her.  But she didn't, and we decided it didn't matter how quickly we were going anyway- all we had to do was finish. 

I slowed down a little, and tried not to think about the fact that there was another hill before it was over.  I think about 17 8-year-olds passed me at this point. 

I was overheating.

But I kept going and then saw the slow and steady way that the road up ahead of me started to climb.  Oh Hell NO. 

About half way up, I wasn't sure if I was going to walk, stop moving all together and just drop out, faint, puke, or die; but I was fairly certain that I wasn't going to finish while still doing something that resembled running.  And then, (thank the LORD), I saw the finish line.

I ran. Faster.  Partly out of desire to have this train-wreck be behind me, but mostly because I didn't want the spectators to think that I couldn't even make it through 2 measly miles while hundreds were about to crush 6.2. 

And when I ran across the finish line, not only did I fail to look at the freaking clock, but when I hit the paddle that a girl was shoving in my face, she said, "nope".  NOPE?????  Are you effing kidding me that I just almost killed myself to finish this blasted race and my time didn't even register??????

But my friend assured me that the clock said 18:45 as she went across, and I was literally right on her heels.  So we said that my time must have been 18:48.  So that's what we're sticking with: 18:48.  Also known as: I SMASHED MY GOAL!!!!!!! (I looked up my "official" time on line later, and it actually did register.  As 18:54, but it also said my friend was 5 seconds later than the clock told her... so we're still sticking with the faster times.  Their official-ness was *obviously* wrong.)

I'm so happy that I did this race, so grateful for my friend who pushed me, and so excited that I didn't actually die so that I could sit around and eat my face off for the rest of the day.

Happy Birthday, America. It was a pleasure celebrating with you.

Waiting for the parade to start and trying not to sweat to death.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Trying Not To Lose My Cool

It's only the beginning of the second week of a very long summer break, and I already feel like these kids are sending me over the edge.  What the freak am I gonna do for the next two months with these heathens?

There are two things that my children do not know how to do: walk and speak quietly.  They have, however, mastered both running and yelling.  They do not stop talking from the time they open their eyes in the morning until their eyes shut (always involuntarily) hours after their intended bedtime.

Loving each other has taken on a new form.  Yes, they still invade each other's space, touch each other incessantly, and must be doing the same exact thing at the same exact time.  However, they are now fighting more than ever.  As in, screaming, tattling, toy-snatching, bickering and "you're not my brother"-ing ALL THE TIME.  The problem is that they won't just fight and leave each other alone for a while.  Ohhh nnoo.. they'll fight like crazy, someone (the 3-year-old) will cry loud enough to wake up the neighbors, I'll flip my lid, and they'll be back playing, touching, laughing, and being too rough all over again.  And so it goes.  All. Day. Long. 

See how nicely we're playing? 
We may or may not start whipping those little Army guys at eachother's faces at any second.
How in the name of God am I supposed to deal with this vicious cycle all flipping summer long?

I will admit, I am often my own worst enemy.  I'll think, "No problem, I've got all day to do anything I want.  I'm on vacation, Baby." Only to get to the end of the day, fall on to the couch after screaming up the stairs for a final time that "Everyone needs to shut their eyes NOOOWWWW!" and wondering, "What in the world did I get done today??" UGHHH!!  What a horrible feeling that is.

So I am trying my hardest this summer to build a routine and stick to a schedule.  I am very quick to forget that while I was all too excited for my schedule to change come June; the boys were not too pysched about how drastically their's changed.  One of them stopped going to school (and therefore stopped seeing his friends all the time). Their babysitter whom they loved stopped coming over. They have no set routine anymore; and no one to hang out with except themselves and their mother. 

I am vowing to break our days up in to kid- time and mama- time.  I will get them around their friends, but I won't overload them with activity.  I will force them to play with the gazillions of toys they have, and I won't step in every time I hear things starting to go awry. I will let them make a mess in the house, but will force them to pick up after themselves.  I will clean while they're watching TV, and will not feeling bad about sitting down when they actually decide that napping is fun. 

And I will pop a Xanax when s hits the fan. 

Have a healthy day,