Monday, October 21, 2013

Why I Love my Neighborhood

A while back, when I was training for my first 5k, I remember reading people's Facebook posts about how peaceful their morning runs were, and looking at their pictures of deer they passed. You know what I loved about my early morning runs? I loved that I could count on seeing the exact same homeless people pushing their carts down the streets at the same time every day, and that every day we would say hello to each other. I loved that even before the sun came up, people were out walking their dogs, hurrying to get home to get ready for work. 

And today, I decided to go out and run again. (Well, "run" is a bit of an optimistic word, but I'll go with it). And I was reminded once again why I love my neighborhood. 

1.  Because this was my view today. And it's right down the street from my kids' school. 

2.  Because my husband goes to 7-eleven for snacks and comes home with food in Spanish packaging. 

3.  Because you can catch a contact high if you breathe deep enough when you take your kids to play in the woods behind your neighbor's house. (Ok, so this isn't exactly something I love, but whatevs, we've just learned to not walk too far in).  

4.  Because my children think nothing of sharing a seat at the ice cream shop because all of the seats are taken. 

5.  Because our neighbors leave us little surprise Halloween treats on our door step, so we get to take more pictures of ourselves. 

So yes, while it's true that on a quiet summer night, we aren't quite sure if the noises we hear are fireworks or gun shots, we love this little space on the map that we get to call home. And that, my friends, is a very wonderful thing. 

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Morning rituals

Some people have cute little things that they do with their kids every day. I have one girlfriend who wears matching bracelets with her kid on days when he's nervous. Other moms tell their kids they "love them to the moon and back", and post 85 Emily pictures of them on Facebook every day.  

Here is what my kid and I do. Every. Single morning.  

Yep. We take pictures of ourselves as mutated zombies. And half the time I'm biting his head. It's very endearing. 

God I love that kid. 

Have a healthy day, 


Monday, September 9, 2013

Confession time

1.  I hate football. There, I said it.  Yep. It's true- I can't stand football. I don't understand the rules, the games go on forever, and I hate not being able to see anyone through their helmets. If I'm going to cheer on a team, I need to see faces. 

2.  I'm sad that my chubby bubba is now in school every single day. And it makes me so irritated when I pick him up and all his teacher says is, "he's doing just fine. He had a good day".  Mama wants details. 

3.  I like to eat massive amounts of chips. Preferably with French onion dip, but if none is available, plain chips straight out of the bag will do. 

4.  I miss my kids from school. But not enough to want to go back and teach them. Maybe just enough to meet them for lunch some day. But I love staying home. 

5.  The reason I'm most excited about fall is so that I can wear hoodies and jeans to hide my muffin top and cellulite. Oh, and because pumpkin spice lattes are back in style. Welcome home. 

6.  I want to run a 5k around Halloween but I hate running. I know that 3 miles is like nothing to a lot of people, but for me it's tough. I will definitely need to train for it and that will be the opposite of fun for me. But the feeling of accomplishment I will get when I finish will be worth it. Hopefully. 

7.  I despise the fact that the "I" and the "o" are right next to each other on the iPhone keyboard. I mean seriously- if I type "if" instead of "of" one more time I'm gonna lose my freaking mind. 

8.  I am scared of geese.   I thought I was going to pass out when I walked out to my car this morning at the gym only to find about 25 geese just walking around it, making their gross little honking noises and loving life. Puke. 

Phew, I feel so much better now. 

Have a healthy day,


Tuesday, August 27, 2013

School Night

It's late at night, I haven't updated this blog in forever, and I should be in bed right now. 

But I'm putting off tomorrow for as long as I can. Because tomorrow is the first day of first grade. I think I'm gonna puke. 

When did this kid get so old? Wait, does that mean that I'm old now, too??? 

He, of course, is beyond excited. We went in for open house the other night and he got to reunite with all of his friends. He's been asking me every day since then how many more days he has. 

He woke up this morning and got his clothes, new sneakers, and back pack all ready. This afternoon, he got his hair cut at a real barber shop, and not the usual kids' place. After dinner he packed his own lunch, and now he's upstairs sleeping, just waiting for me to wake him up to tell him it's finally time to be a first grader. 

My anxiety attack is already setting in. This is so crazy. 

Oh mylanta this is insane. 

If I'm like this with first grade, what the freak am I gonna do when we have to drop him off at college??!?!?!

Have a healthy day (and a great school year!) 


Monday, August 12, 2013

The day the fish died

We were all packed up and ready to go meet our friends at the spray park this morning when I walked over to turn off the tv. It was then that I noticed that the fish bowl was...wait for it... EMPTY. 

I told the boys that Shinyorangefish was missing, and Pete immediately came over and stuck his entire arm in the bowl to move the plants around. No fish. 

I thought for a second that Jerry had noticed him belly up and just flushed him without telling anyone, but then figured he probably would have at least gotten rid of the empty bowl of water. 

Where the FREAK was the fish????

So at this point, the boys are pretty much freaking out (as am I, I mean, seriously where was he?!?) and Chubby was over in a corner trying to make himself cry. And then I found him. 

On the floor. Behind the tv stand. Where he was grey and semi- fried looking. 
Oh my GOD. The fish committed suicide. 

So we said our goodbyes and flushed him. Pete started crying real tears and yelling at me for not putting him back in the bowl to see if he would "come back alive".  Chubby wasn't sure whether or not we were supposed to pee on him since we put him in the potty. And then started crying real tears as well, complete with snot and declarations of how much he would be missed. 

RIP Shinyorangefish. I surely hope your death wish had nothing to do with the identity crisis you must have had, seeing as how you weren't orange at all. Sorry for all those times we forgot to feed you. 

Friday, August 2, 2013

Free to a good home

Anyone want a 6-year-old for, say, the rest of the summer? 

All you have to do is feed him cookies the size of his face,

Remind his coach that he bats left,

And give in after he begs you over and over and over and over to go to the playground to practice monkey bars. 

And then do yourself a favor and buy yourself some ear plugs.

 Because the second you bring him home from doing all of these fun things, he will insist that he's starving and needs a snack. 

He will then say your name 57 thousand times in a row as he follows you around asking what you're going to do for the rest of the day. He will have something smart to say back when you tell him to go play his brother, who contrary to what he wants you to believe, he loves more than life itself. 

He will probably attempt to roll his eyes at you at least once during the day. He may even stomp up the stairs at some point. You'll probably want to give him back before the day is done. 

Sorry, no trade-backs. 

But just when you're ready to lock yourself in your room and wish for a UFO to come take you away, he will want to climb up on your lap and remind you that you actually do like him. 

Ugh, fine. I'll keep him. 

But his days are seriously numbered. 

There must be a sleep-away camp for 6-year-olds. 

Have a healthy day. I'm going to force my kids to pretend they're napping. 


Glamping wedding weekend

I took the boys back to the zoo the other day. Last time we went, it was approximately 50 thousand degrees out, and I basically thought I was going to burst in to flames. What is it about the zoo that makes it the absolute hottest place on earth? Anyway, it was only 60 something out the other day, so we spent some more time there and it was tolerable. 

And they only asked me for snacks 67 times instead of the usual 256, and told me they were sick of walking 17 as opposed to the expected 58. Trip to the zoo= win!!

And on another note, I am headed out of town before the sun comes up on a blissful (I mean, very lonely) 5-hour car trip by myself. My cousin is getting married at a glorified campsite in Massachusetts. Not sure if anyone knows this, but Mama doesn't camp. (Well, not very well at least). I'm praying it doesn't rain, even though it's thundering here right now. Because I will be rocking these beauties. And I ain't got no back up plan. 
I'm not sure what I'm more excited about: driving for 5 hours with nothing except Sirius radio and my DD French vanilla iced coffee with double milk and 2 splendas, thankyouverymuch; or drinking too much and hanging with my cousins who I haven't seen in forever. Truth be told, the car ride has a slight edge up right now. 

I feel like I never talk about my workouts any more, and that's kinda why I'm supposed to be writing all of this stuff down. ( but looking at pictures if my gaudy gold shoes and under painted toes is much more fun, right?). I taught a power body class this morning to a bunch of people who showed up expecting Body Pump. Thankfully they didn't walk out. And I'm teaching it again tonight to some die-hards who show up to the gym at 6:00 on a Friday night during the summer. Yep, two workouts for me today- wow, I am so fit. ;)

Have a healthy day, and pray that i don't contract Lyme disease out in the woods this weekend.