Saturday, March 9, 2013

Fun Little Linkup

It's time for a link up!  And yes, I'm late jumping on board, and yes, that is the story of my life. Sorry I'm not sorry. And with that, I will finish some sentences:

1. People always tell me that I talk like a valley girl and that I'm built like a black girl. I'm assuming that they are referring to my bedonk-a-donk.  Keep in mind that I spend the majority of my days with inappropriate teenagers.  I, like, totally think both of those are compliments. *Hair flip* 
2. In the movie based on my life, Taye Diggs is my husband.  (And I get to play me, obviously.)
3. Typically, I end up regretting nights of drinking.  But sometimes I just can't help myself. 
4. I always ask to leave off the olives.  Gross.
5. Kim and Kanye really need to ask themselves why they are together.  I mean, won't Kanye do anything for a blonde dyke? Last I checked, Kim is neither.  But I guess what don't kill him will make him stronger. But they will probably have a very beautiful baby.  And yes, I realize I'm a huge nerd. 
6. My Parents always reminded me that one time when I was little, I buried a hamburger in a house plant. I went back a week later, undug it and ate it. 
7. Every single day, I say the F word.  Sometimes out loud, sometimes under my breath, and sometimes in my head.  It starts in the morning when the alarm goes off, "Eff.  I don't want to go to work".  And again later at lunch, "I really should eat healthier.  Aw, Eff it". 
8. This one time in College I drank Pepto before a night of drinking so that I could drink more without puking.  It may have happened more than just one time. 

9. My grossest habit is leaving dirty dishes in the sink over night.  I know that clean freaks everywhere are cringing right now.  I'm sorry, but your tendencies to pick pimples truly made me throw up in my mouth. 
10. My latest white lie was telling a pain in the A$$ student of mine that I was happy to see her after an absence and that I miss her when she 's gone.  Not true on either front. 

11. I know all the words to almost every single Dave Matthews song from the late 90s, most of the words to Baby Got Back, and about 80% of the words to The Brady Bunch movie.  I'm not even ashamed to admit that my sister and I used to watch that movie on VHS every single night before we went to bed when we shared a room in high school.  I told you I was a nerd. 

12. When I grow up I want to be a clean freak organized MILF who has her S*&T together.  Or a party planner.

13. Sexy time is finishing a slow 2-mile jiggle jog without a peeping turtle. (TMI???)

14. I will never, ever give birth to a baby girl.  And part of me is very sad about that.  But the other part is ecstatic that I will forever get to be the queen of my castle. 

15. I think it's hilarious that I left my wallet at work last night, didn't remember until the boys were already in the car for their haircuts, and then discovered that the building is locked, leaving me access to zero dollars on a day when I have a thousand errands to run.  Oh wait, no.  That actually isn't hilarious at all.  But is.  People are morons  funny and I love laughing at with them. Oh, and little kids who make inappropriate comments are ususally pretty hilarious too. Except for when it's my kids.  Then it's just mortifying, until I get home and they are in bed. 
Happy weekend! 
Have a healthy day,

1 comment:

  1. I feel like we are the same person because the F word is my favorite, DMB is awesome, and I hate to load the dishwasher. Ha. Thanks for linking with us!!