Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Finish the Sentence Part II

Everyone in my house is on the verge of getting sick, and I really thought I had dodged it.  Of course not.  I am feeling like complete trash right now, so this is gonna be short and sweet.  I really just want to be in my bed watching PLL on Netflix.  But these two bloggers are my very faves.  No joke.  So I had to jump in on the action.  (Plus I really wanna win, I'm not even gonna lie). 
1. If calories didn't count, I would eat... All of Paula Deen's greatest hits.  And I'm talkin' about
pre-diabeetus Paula.  With a side of chips and cake with extra frosting for dessert. 
2. On my Prom night.... I wore a dress that I got on sale from Express for $50 and was escorted by a blind date.  I went to an all-girls school, and didn't know any boys.  He ended up being super cute.  But we didn't date or anything afterwards.  I think he had a girlfriend or something dumb.  That, and I was a huge nerd. 
3. When I go to the store, I always buy... greek yogurt, frozen chicken nuggets that I doubt are real chicken, boxed mac and cheese that costs 39 cents, and a pack of everything bagels.  That is ALL my kids eat.  I'm not kidding. 
4. Family functions typically... are long and loud.  Most of the grown-ups refuse to admit that all of the kids are now grown-ups.  I'm pretty sure that we'd still have to sit at the kids' table if we still fit in the chairs.  And if you're at a family function, there is a 100% chance you're getting talked about when it's over. 
5. I think my blog readers... are non-existant.  Does anyone read this freaking thing?  I'm not quite sure, but I'm pretty fun and funny, so people SHOULD. 
6. I'd much rather be..... online shopping for whatever the freak I want whenever the freak I want instead of second guessing the random $2 nail polish that finds its way in to my shopping cart as a "splurge".  I could really use an entire new spring wardrobe right now.  And about 12 extra paychecks. 
7. I have an obsession with.... Pinterest, reality TV, sweat pants, and not doing my hair.  Yeah, I said it.  I don't do my hair.  Ever.  And???

8. My work friends.... used to be my very best friends.  We hung out during every single free moment  we had, went out for happy hour at 3:00 and ended up closing the bars, and knew very inappropriate things about each other.  And then one by one, we all started getting new jobs.  And now we never speak.  And I have zero friends at my current job and it's horrible.  Womp Womp. 
9. When I created my Facebook account.... I agreed to have a "joint account" with my husband in an effort to keep any and all skeletons IN the closet.  (Not that either of us have any, but just in case).  He NEVER goes on there, and it's fully just my account.  I especially love it when people who were total whore bags in college feel the need to post quotes from the Bible every 5 minutes.  It's SO authentic. 
10. My least favorite word is... so gross that I can't even type it.  I'll give you a couple of clues:  It's a woman's body part, and it starts with a C.  The acronym(?) has nothing to do with Tuesday.  And when one of my girls at school gets mad, she tells people to lick hers.  Ew.  Just thinking aboutt it makes me want to vom. 
11. I really don't remember.... names or where I know people from, but I do remember if I've seen someone somewhere.  I rely on my 5-year-old who I swear has a photographic memory to remind me who everyone is and where we've seen them before.  I'm all like, "oh hiiiii, how are youuuu?" with the hopes that their answer will somehow trigger my brain. 
12. Justin Bieber.... officially gave me Bieber fever when I watched Never Say Never.  He's coming here this summer and I can't find any little girls to take me.  Even my 10-year-old niece was all, "no one even likes Justin Bieber anymore.  We like One Direction".  Um ok.  Then who the eff bought all of the floor seats for $4000 EACH?!?!?!?
And that's it on my end. 
Have a healthy day,


  1. lick her C U Next Tuesday, huh?? That made me laugh out loud! I like to call people who are really douchey C*NT scabs...aren't I a class act? HAHA. thanks for linking with us!

  2. hahahaha, "pre-diabetes" Paula...I love it!

  3. Hahaha #9 made me laugh at my computer, which makes me look like a weirdo. And I will absolutely join in on a pre-diabetes Paula Deen food fest! :)

  4. I LOVE #9- I have these 2 that stick out in my head that post the bible verses ALL day ERRRRday! Come on people! I know the truth! haha

    My work situation is exactly the same!