Writer's Block

I haven't forgotten about you, I promise.  In fact, it's quite the opposite.  As I go through my days, I am constantly thinking, "oooh, this will make a great blog post".  I usually forget to tell you about it though, but hey- at least you know where my intentions are. 

I've got a major case of writer's block today.  I think it has something to do with the 8 million other things that I have to get done before the end of the week.  Here's just a quick snapshot of this week's tasks:

• Order cupcakes for the big birthday bash this weekend.  Make sure they look like zoo animals. After all, you ARE SuperMom, and the kids will OBVIOUSLY care.
• Devise a plan for Father's Day.  Make it seem like you are actually on top of things, so that Husband-slash-Baby-Daddy feels as appreciated as he actually is.
• Do some laundry so that you don't have to recycle gym clothes...again...
• Admit to yourself that you actually went through with the plan to invite people over to your house on Saturday night, because 2 celebrations for a 5-year-old just aren't enough.  
• Shop for said people.
• Clean the house for said people.
• Tie up loose ends at work.  Because, you know, people have to actually *earn* their paychecks.  You are not exempt from this little sticking point, and your school year is not techinically over yet.
• By and deliver gifts for the multiple babies who have been born recently, one of whom lives clear on the other side of the city.  (But babies are cute, so why is this one stressing me too?)
• Take CJ to visit his new school.  Pray that Ty doesn't act crazy. Remember to brush your hair before you go.  There will be people there you've never met.  Don't let them know you are a hot-mess at all times.  Let them figure that out on their own.
• Don't forget to take CJ to his 5-year-old check up. Tell him that the 12 shots he has to get won't hurt.  No, bad idea.  Instead, play dumb when the nurse tells him he has to get 12 shots.  Then bribe him with candy or ice cream or both.

Ok, I gotta go.  I may or may not drive off the nearest bridge before the day ends. 

Have a healthy day (being stressed out is a great way to stay perfectly healthy, right?!?!!?),

J

Stressed. Out.

Those of you who know me know that being a good teacher isn't good enough for me.  I want to be great. I strive every day to be the type of teacher good enough for my own children.  So when things don't go as planned, and I have an off day (gasp!), I get stressed out.  Like, REALLY stressed out.  And I don't handle my stress well. 

Those of you who don't know me don't know what happened to me last year.  So here's the condensed version in 1 sentence or less:  I worked my butt off, got put in what I thought was a very unfair situation, felt as though my boss turned her back on me, started having some pretty serious anxiety attacks, started hating going to work, found out I had an irregular heartbeat, ended up visiting 4 different doctors,  spent 2 months in physical therapy because I could no longer bend my neck, and had to get massage therapy twice a week.  And here's the end result: the doctor told me to find a new job and to start doing more yoga.  So here I am a year later: a budding yoga-lover who works part-time in a new job.  I haven't had a single anxiety related symptom all year.  Until yesterday. 

Yesterday I revisited that ugly place that I thought I had left behind.  I had one of the worst days I had had in a very long time.  It was new and all-too-familiar all at the same time. And it sucked.

So I went home and did what I always do when I'm stressed- I ate. Whatever what was in reach.  Some Pringles, a quesadilla complete with sour cream (low-fat!), a few spoonfuls of chocolate ice cream. But something was different this time.  I was mindful for once of what was going on, and stopped myself dead in my tracks.  With my stomach still in knots and my mind still reeling, I headed outside and took it out on my bushes. (Hey, my yard needed to get ready for spring anyway.  Yesterday was as good a day as any to get it there.)

And by 11:00 last night, I was still a stressed out mess. (Yes, I realize it is neither healthy nor normal to let work affect me this way.  But I did tell you I don't handle my stress well.  I wasn't kidding.) After a night of not sleeping,  I did something mildly crazy at the totally crazy hour of 6 AM.   And I'm not gonna tell you until tomorrow, because it's an entirely different story.  But I'll leave you with these clues:  it did not involve unhealthy nutritional choices, and it is definitely NOT something I anticipated writing about.  But it happened.  And I felt SO GOOD afterwards! 



Have a healthy day,

J